TRUST YOUR GUT: Relationship Edition

main-image-blog-postSHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

Do you ever have this nagging feeling like something in your life just isn’t quite right? Like something needs to change because you know this isn’t how God would want it.

Do you think it could be your relationship that is making you feel this way? Let’s go through some fundamental reasons why your relationship just isn’t working out, how you may be able to change that & when it’s time to pursue something else.

THE MORE THE BETTER

The more effort you put into the relationship the more it will flourish right? That’s how it should work isn’t it.ย Well the answer isn’t always that simple.

I mean generally speaking, “effort” can be as simple as speaking love into someone everyday in the tiniest way. And sometimes something small like that, can actually make a HUGE difference.

Do you wanna know some great ways of doing that?

  1. Verbally tell your partner that you appreciate them, even if you ways try to show that in other ways.
  2. Cook them dinner or bring home their favourite dessert.
  3. Be spontaneous and take them out on surprise date, just the two of you! Doesn’t have to cost you money, could be as simple as throwing some drinks and snacks in a cooler, grabbing some blankets & finding a nice scenic spot to chat and ask each other fun questions for an hour or two.
Photo by: Jorja Coral Photography

I THINK I WANT TO STAY

Remember we all receive love in different ways. They may just take comfort in hearing you say it where others may recognise your appreciation by you showing it. The point is, expressing appreciation can & will change an entire relationship. Just take note that not everyone will express their love in the same way you do OR put in that effort the ways you do. And that’s fine. But what IS important is that they are putting that effort in one way or another.

“If the feelings are mutual, the effort will be equal.”

So have some fun with it, experiment a bit, ask questions and get their feedback to find out if what you are doing is working!

Photo by: Jorja Coral Photography

BUT I DON’T KNOW IF CAN DO IT ANYMORE

So what do you do when no amount “effort” seems to be making your relationship better?

Well simply put, if you aren’t important enough to change the situation NOW, then you probably never will be. I mean sometimes you just have to accept that no matter how great two individuals are, sometimes they just aren’t so great together.

And if that’s the case don’t sell yourself short. The key here is to not be afraid to really try and give it all you got. But knowing when enough is enough. Don’t spend a lifetime trying to make something work when it maybe wasn’t meant to happen in the first place.

So if you are putting in your all & it’s not getting better than it comes down to you sucking it up and doing what is right. Their lack of effort OR maybe it’s just the lack of chemistry, doesn’t say any less of you. You are not a failure for it not working out. And ultimately you would be saving you both from living a life that isn’t the best one you could be living.

Imagine it like this, it takes two to tango. And sometimes it just comes down knowing it’s time to find a new partner when you and your partner are dancing to a completely different beat. Don’t be the one who is dancing around pretending nothing is wrong when you will just end up getting you both in a great deal of pain and disappointment in the final performance. (anyone else imagining how ridiculous that would look? Ya I thought so too haha)

OKAY LETS BE REAL HERE

I want to tell you it’s okay if you tried your hardest & it still didn’t work, don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes if you are with the wrong person, you are just simply with the wrong person, & nothing my dear can make that right.

So get to know yourself a bit better. Set your expectations and make things right even if that means doing what’s tough. It might be hard for the first bit or maybe it won’t be difficult at all. But God will reward you tenfold.

Wouldn’t you rather live a life with the right person & accomplish 10x more in a lifetime? Than to stay with the wrong person and have it not work out in 15 years anyways?

OR even worse, to know that you didn’t give God your very best because you couldn’t let go & trust that He had something better for you.

HOW CAN I HELP?

I know how hard it can be in this situation. I’ve had to make this call for myself. And I most definitely have suffered the consequences for making the wrong choice and I have received the blessings from making the RIGHT one.

I would be so happy to talk to you and help you walk through this difficult time in your life. Please send me a message & lets chat about how we can get you closer to living a life that you can be proud of. Because the wrong relationship can make aย  big impact on all aspects of your life, in all the wrong ways.

Just like the right one can lead you to all kinds of amazing opportunities that will have you doing your very best for Christ, through Christ.ย 

 

 

 

4 Comments

    1. I totally understand what you mean! ๐Ÿ™‚ But sometimes it’s not that simple. Like in a marriage or when children are involved. Just like some people comtemplate leaving when they lose those over the top feelings you often get when you first start dating. Even when it’s not “bad” those dry or high stress seasons etc. sometimes produce doubt. It’s situations like these where sometimes a little more effort is required from both parties to introduce the love back into the relationship to reflect how they do still feel truly about each other ๐Ÿ™‚ But it is definitely all circumstantial of course ๐Ÿ˜‰

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