Finding friends in a majority selfish broken world is challenging to say the least. It has taken me my entire life to only now start finding the friendships that I feel like were always meant to be in my life.
Why did it take so long? Well let's just say, I was trying to be someone I wasn't. Conforming to the thinking and expectations of the world and the people around me. Moulding myself to their idea of how I should be, rather than truly just being ME. And being the real woman that God intended me to be.
IS IT ME OR THEM?
Do you ever notice how often we find ourselves, or others, jumping to the conclusion that something is either wrong with us or everyone else? When in fact it can just simply be that the small population of people that you've met in a pool of trillions of people that make up that world, are just not the people God intended you to have lifetime friendships with.
What if it's just that if we were authentically our true selves and didn't put on this facade or transform ourselves into someone that we think people would like better. Maybe, just maybe, those lousy friendships we had in the past wouldn't have been so lousy. Or at the least you would have realised that it wasn't a friendship that wasn't going to work out sooner, rather than later.
KNOW WHO YOU ARE FIRST
Truthfully I think that a big part of it comes down to the fact that most of us just have no idea who we really are. And we put so much focus and energy on trying to figure it out by ourselves. Or through someone or something else. That we push ourselves further and further from getting the real answer!
MAYBE IT'S JUST ME?
It's funny to think that, yeah, maybe it is us that's the real problem. Just not for the reasons we usually think.
BE WHO GOD CREATED YOU TO BE ORIGINALLY
It's not because we need to be better looking, smarter, or funnier. Or that we need to be more fun, to relax, let loose. Or that we are too spazzy , chatty or annoying. It's that we honestly just need to embrace the way God made us to be.
To be okay with not everyone getting along or liking us. Because we are not going to get along with every person we meet. And we aren't necessarily supposed to.
THE KEY INGREDIENTS TO FINDING FRIENDSHIP
We find the the people we are supposed to develop real relationships with, by being the real quarky people we are, with real flaws and real imperfections. By living your life dependant on His promises.
But you have to let yourself be comfortable with wanting to live the way He has called us to do.
Let go of the fact that not all people are going to understand it. But just because people don't understand or agree with it doesn't mean you need to be ashamed of it. Or that you need change or be less "Christian-ey" haha. It's hard, but God told us that it would be difficult. Yet it is in those difficulties that you get something that you cannot gain from just being like the rest of the world.
Confidence in who you are in Christ will lead you to the people you are meant to be with. They will lead you to the people that need you too. Whether they're fellow believers of not.
WALK AWAY FROM THE WRONG FRIENDS
Have you had these questions rolling through your head?
- I have a really unhealthy relationship with my friend! Can I or should I walk away from it?
- I have a friend that isn’t a bad person, but we just really don’t get along, yet they always are hanging around! What should I do?
- Isn't it wrong to abandon someone a friend who needs help even if they aren't a very good friend?
- How can I leave my friend when they need me? They don't really have anyone else.
If you have, then go check out "Walking Away From The Wrong Friendships"!
Because keeping those unhealthy friendships around that have been bringing you down, can be a huge contributor and essential aspect to why you haven't found the friends you've been searching for.
So don't keep crummy friendships around just for the sake of having someone to hangout with. Because in the big picture it's totally not worth it.
God has so much better for you! But you gotta drop anything that you know is less than His best before you can take hold of it.
FINDING SEcURITY IN WHO YOU REALLY ARE
When you let yourself finally become fully secure in Christ you are that much closer to finding the people that you have longed to have in your life for such a long time.
YOU CAN'T FIND PEOPLE LIKE YOU, IF YOU AREN'T SHOWING THEM WHO YOU REALLY ARE
Remember that there is nothing wrong with being yourself. And to be honest, if you aren't yourself it's really hard to meet the people that you'd make amazing friends with when you are pretending to be something you aren't!
Don't miss out on the blessings and growth that can be sparked from seeking and receiving God given friendships. So go out be true to you, be true to God. And those real authentic people who have been searching for the exact same thing as you will find you. And once you have them it will make sense why all those other friendships never worked out.
LAST MINUTE TIPS:
- Search for people who are honest and truthful, not that just tell you want they think you want to hear.
- Not all friendships begin with the same beliefs, but that doesn't mean you can't be friends and that that faith may not spark later in the friendship.
- Just because we are Christian, doesn't mean we have to or should be friends with everyone. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't accept others differences. Or that we get to judge when others live differently than us. That is wrong. To be like Christ is to be kind, open and welcoming to ALL. If a friendship develops from that, then great! If not, no worries.
REASON WHY FRIENDSHIP IS SO IMPORTANT:
The right friendships/ people that God places in your life, are put there to encourage you, to challenge you and to help you grow. To develop you further into the person He intends you to be.
DON'T MAKE THIS MISTAKE
The worst mistake we make is allowing ourselves to diminish the importance of continually trying to live as God has called us to. Because if you try your hardest to walk your best walk through the blessings, and through the challenges. That is when you reap the greatest rewards from the things He places in your path.
It's the friendships that you find by doing so, that can last a lifetime!
There is a reason that we as human beings crave companionship so much. We need it. We are meant to come together, we are meant to have fellowship and to engage with one another. God intended it to be that way. So that we could set aside are differences. And come together for Him.
So go out, be the amazingly awesome person you are without shame, and let's work together to further God's kingdom sooner than later!